If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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