I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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