I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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