A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize