i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
