So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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