Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
