IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
