I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
