He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
