I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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