Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
