Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
