I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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