could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
