Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
