you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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