ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
