I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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