oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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