Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
