we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
