my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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