That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
