whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
