all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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