White coat. Heels.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
