yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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