we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
