Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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