I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
