hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm really busy with my period
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