Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
