We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
