He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she looked like the before picture.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
