Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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