When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
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Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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