Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
