anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
