It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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