i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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