you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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