It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
