i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My cat gives me a boner
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
