Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
