I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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