Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
