he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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