just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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