Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
