how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
