I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize