I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
