all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
