This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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