bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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