I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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