Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Someone shit on the floor
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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